PRAYING FIRST,
Listening Always
We recently sat down to interview one of our client advocates to talk about how they work with clients.
Q: What's the first thing you do when you learn you'll be meeting with an abortion-minded client?
A: I start praying immediately. I ask God for wisdom and say something like:
Heavenly Father, You know we have an abortion-minded woman coming in today. Let me be Your vessel. Give me the words I need to say to save this baby’s life. Please guide me. Be in the room with us. Let that baby live. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Q: Do you use the same strategy for every client?
A: Not at all, it’s very individual. You have to read them. I like being around when they’re filling out paperwork, it gives me a chance to pick up cues before we even sit down. I always ask, “Why are you thinking about having an abortion?” I usually share a short part of my own story; not all the details, but enough for them to know I’ve walked this road. I tell them that know what it feels like on the other side, and they might think abortion will make things easier, but it actually makes them worse. They need to know the truth.
Q: What cues do you watch for?
A: Body language tells a lot. If she’s looking at the floor, if her arms are crossed tight around her, that usually means she’s closed off. It could be fear, abuse, or just a determination to follow through with abortion. Those are the moments to start easing fear, telling her we will help her, that we have a support system for her. I remember one client who came in madder than a hornet. She didn’t speak to anyone. I prayed silently, asking God to tell me what to do. And then His peace came over me, like it always does when I pray. I asked a few questions which seemed specific for her and we were able to connect.
Q: What do you look for before you meet a client?
A: The paperwork tells me three main things:
Her age – this shapes the entire conversation.
Her support system – who knows about the pregnancy and what their response has been.
Any safety concerns – if there’s a history of abuse, assault, or coercion, that changes how I approach the conversation.
As a Christian, I’m also looking for clues about where she might be spiritually. Those first few lines on paper give me a starting point, so by the time I walk into the room, I have an idea of who she is.
Q: What's your mindset as you go into the meeting?
A: My job is to be obedient, listen well, speak truth in love, and trust God with the outcome. When I pray before walking in, He always gives me peace. I know He’s already working in her heart before I even open the door.
Q: What is "the third option"?
A: In many pro-life conversations, the first option is to talk only about the baby, not the woman. The second option is to speak only about the woman and never mention the baby. I like to focus on the third option which is to focus on both the baby and the woman. I start with her, letting her see how much we care about her as a person, and then I move on to showing that we care for her baby. When she knows we care about her, she’s more likely to care about the baby.
Q: Describe the conversations you have with abortion-minded women.
A: If a pregnant client says, “I’m not ready to be a mother,” I gently tell her, “I want you to know, you are already a mother.” That gets her attention. It’s personal. I’m fully present with her. Then I share a brief part of my own story then refocus on her. Once she knows I care, we can have a deeper conversation about her baby.